© you're so funny!

thanks ! omw from school, i jumped out of the moving van because, i thought we stopped. embarrassing. i did not get hurt but my fren started to bawl.

thanks ! i yap fast, i eat fast, i walk fast. i walk really fast, i hate slow walkers.

thanks ! i have a useless talent of memorizing and recognising footsteps. if i am meeting someone for the first time and i hear their footsteps, i’ll know what their steps sound like when i meet them, next.

How did you become popular in school?

thanks ! i am the way i am because my dad accidentally banged my head against the wall when i was 3, while playing with me.

thanks ! a car ran over my 4 year old self because, my frens had challenged me by saying ‘you cannot cross the road without help.’ guess what? i proved their point. my parents know nothing about this episode.

thanks ! tata’s nano used to be my favorite car ever. its so cute, you cannot change my mind.

Isn’t freedom of speech and expression an absolute right?

thanks ! my mum made me visit a psychologist when i was 5 because, she thought i was crazy for liking movies with violence. question mark question mark.

thanks ! i almost got k!dnapp3d last year.

thanks ! i am disgustingly self aware, there's nothing i haven't already over-thought about.

Is BPD real or just an excuse?

thanks ! got chased by a group of seniors in grade 7, because we threw water balloons on their vehicles. valid because we did that on purpose.

thanks ! i almost fell from a 9 storey building while playing holi with my friends, in grade 6. idk who saved me but i remember getting pushed in a bucket of colored water after that.

thanks ! the lore i carry, are the things that actually happened to me. my parents n know nothing about whatever i wrote here except, where i have mentioned them. i have no plans on telling anything to them, any time soon. thank you.

For an unpublished short story writer, what magazines or online publications offer the best chance of being recognized?

thanks ! i kicked a guy who was three years senior to me, in the balls while playing kabaddi in the school playground because, he made fun of my hg for not having a father. deserved.

thanks ! i once punched a guy in grade 6, and one of his teeth disappeared. we're still in touch and he has a denture, thank you.

thanks ! i once got sent back home because the receptionist thought i was in grade 8. i was in grade 11, thank you.

Scientists have discovered 'third state' between life and death - WKRC

thanks ! it's still a mystery that, why i haven't broken any bones, considering the way i live.

thanks ! my ex best friend stopped talking to me after i opened up something very personal to her. she was forcing me to tell, so i did. and she said ‘i can't stay frens with someone who has gone through that ew.’ OKAY.

thanks ! i once turned so red after an awkward situation, that my teacher took me to the medical room, to check if i had fever.

Why do I feel worthless most of the time?

side note : this is a slight trauma dump and heavy silly shit, so don't come at me ty.